Script:  Life coach commercial parody in the style of SNL parody




Scene opens on artist dressed as a tech bro looking stressed.


BRO: I make AI and you know what that means.  Problems.  


And the public is finding out.  Won’t be long now before they want the government to do something.  But laws sound so…. Legal..


I need help. But I fired everyone trying to slow me down. There’s gotta be another way. 


(Tech bro puts head back in hands)


Life Coach Voiceover: Why not try a more holistic approach?  


Bro: (looks up)


The scene cuts to the artist with pink hair wearing a white futuristic jacket. She is sitting in a meditation position with glowing purple lights behind her. The Artificial Life Coach logo glows on her chest and it is a neon sign of a crystal ball that is also the on-off power sign. She has a very chipper infomercial voice and is constantly smiling.


Life Coach: Hello World! Presenting - Artificial Life Coach - the only Life Coach that is meant to coach computers -  not people. 


Sound phony? It is! 


Hiring a life coach will make your AI tool sound so powerful, it can't possibly be wrong!


Bro: I can probably fix everything myself- but my time is worth $895,000 per minute. 
 
Life Coach Voice Over: That’s outrageous.


Bro: What’s outrageous is our ambition!! (An explosion of money special fx appears over his face) AI is the new digital abacus, it’s the new electric eight ball, it’s the kraken rising up out of the ocean disrupting jobs, accelerating climate change, telling you what future to have,  but right now it’s like “AI” you know what I’m saying.


 (Tech bro winks)


Life Coach (puts on a futuristic headset closing eyes as if in trance): Not a problem. Artificial Life Coach has you covered.


We use the latest crypto-virtualverse technology and pretend to make a psychic link with anything you call Artificial Intelligence- from the simplest spreadsheet to the complex network of underpaid secret workers grueling behind the scenes.


So let them say you’re stealing art
With artificial Life Coach you're just stealing hearts.